Faith

Faith is a funny thing. At least, faith in God. So many times I think that we attribute faith to ourselves or others, however, I think that we have faith wrong...most of the time. Faith is not something we can choose to do, it is a gift. Faith is a gift from God. We cannot wake up one day and say,"Ahah! Today I shall have faith in God. I will believe in Him and all will be well." We cannot look at someone else and say, in an accusatory manner,"If you ONLY had faith, everything would be fine!" No...it does not work that way. If it did, that would mean that there was something that we had to contribute to make salvation work. It would mean that Christ's sacrifice on the cross, His death and resurrection, were not sufficient. Eph 2:8-9 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: (9) Not of works, lest any man should boast. We have no work in our salvation. None. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Wow. What do you think? Obey

Pilgrimage...

My children love to listen to an audio version of "Pilgrim's Progress." It is a story that I have come to love over the last few years. I do not know if you are familiar with the story. It is the story of a man named Christian who flees the coming destruction of his city. He is fleeing to the Celestial City where the Great King waits to offer him peace and life. Christian's journey is not an easy one. He starts off heavily laden with a great burden. The burden is the burden of sin. Christian desperately desires the removal of this great burden. This desire is so great that he takes his eyes off of his goal and is quickly drawn out of the Way. He manages to find his way back but, throughout his journey is beset by many trials and missteps. He fails, he falls, he fails again...he continues. I love the encouragement this story offers because I have often found myself in the shoes of "Christian." I continually fall flat on my face, failing at being a "good Christian." I want to be one, but, I often find myself taking my eyes from my King and Savior and and trying to change my heart and my actions with my own power. Oh, I can change for a short time, but it is never lasting. I always revert back to my same selfish, self centered, self seeking, unforgiving, self righteous, self. The only lasting change that ever happens within my heart  is that which is accomplished by the work of the Holy Spirit.

I am so thankful that He can change me. I am so thankful that He can (and does) forgive me for my constant blunderings. How forgiving am I when others fail me, disappoint me, wound me, ignore me, turn their back on me, or sin against me? Honestly? I would love to be able to say that I am lowly and humble of heart and that I am that forgiving...but, that would make me a liar. I am proud. Oh, I used to think that I was humble...then I became a Christian and the truth was revealed. I tended to (and still unfortunately, sometimes still do) hold wrongs done to me, close. I would cradle them in my arms and tenderly nurture the unforgiveness until it became a festering, bitter, hateful resentment. The Lord is still working on this in me. Sometimes, I still want to hold onto those things. "See, what so-and-so did to me?! Poor me! Don't you feel bad for me?! Just look what they did!" Why do I do that? Ugh. It is so gross. I hate it in others...why do I seem to think that it is different in me?

Truthfully, I don't. Not really. Sometimes, I just want someone to put the blame on. Isn't that nice? I do not want to blame me...that would mean that I was, like, wrong about something! I would have to admit guilt...about something, anything. My pride does not think that is so cool. Thankfully, my Savior is continuing to chip away at this disgusting part of my nature. Thankfully, He does not give up on me. Thankfully, He forgives me. When I sin, I am rebelling against Him. I am fighting Him and telling Him that He has got it all wrong...that I have a better way. His answer? "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." He is the Way...my way? Not going to fly. Utter Failure.

So, why did I bring this all up? Why would you care? Because, miserable, putrid, wretch that I am, He loves me and He has made me His. He has sealed me, adopted me, made me His own. He is bringing me along patiently. He is guiding my feet every step. Like in the story, I fail. However, He never fails and He never gives up on me no matter how many wrong turns I take. Oh, do not get me wrong...there are consequences for my foolishness. He does chasten me, but, He does so with love and He does so perfectly and in just the way that I need.

I am on Pilgrimage. I am seeking the Holiest Land. I am seeking the King. I am on a journey and it is both terrifying and utterly glorious. Terrifying, because I know that He might ask me to do some really hard things and I am afraid that I will fail Him...utterly glorious, because I know that even though I am afraid, He will provide for me, and teach me, and strengthen me, and guide me through it all and if He wants it done through me...He will make it happen. If He wants it, I cannot fail no matter how afraid I am. Do you know why? Because, nothing is impossible with God.

It is late...I have babbled quite enough. I am sure that I will read this in the morning and it will not make as much sense to me as it does tonight. May the Lord bless you and keep you.
Obey

The Great Goat Experience...or...You Would Have Been Laughing Hysterically at Us.

We are now the proud new owners of three lovely goats. They have been dubbed thusly: Princess, Lady, and lil' Shortcake. They are milking goats. We have never had milking goats. We have had chickens. Just a lil' FYI, chickens and goats are nothing alike. We have had horses....the only similarities thus far are, that they are both mammals.

I would like to take the moment to offer a word of advice to any and all who may be looking into a similar venture. The word is: milking-stand. If you get dairy goats and you do not have said milking stand, prepare to feel like an absolute goober. You will quickly find that a goat can climb anything. By that, I mean that a goat can climb you, the bales of hay behind you and then...the barn wall.

We did not have a milking-stand on our first day. I will pause while those of you who are experienced with goats, laugh hysterically at us........
Anywhooo, we did not have the aforementioned necessary piece of dairy goat accessories. In our naivete, we thought to ourselves, 'Surely, we can just tie them whilst we milk them.'

'Ahah!' thought the goats,' Surely not!'

Just to assuage all fears at this moment, the goats are all alive...and so, by the Grace of God, are we.

My poor daughter, who is a romantic to a fault, had her romantic vision of gently and serenely milking these beautiful does, pummeled into the ground along with her toes as these dainty ladies danced the Cha-cha  all over our poor unsuspecting bodies.

Now, you must understand, these lovely ladies are not bad...we were just not very bright and were utterly unprepared.

First of all, no milking-stand. Second, no grain. Third, no brain. Oi.

There we were, with these goats who have never seen us before; excited children dancing around, other excited children riding their bicycles around us (showing off for the goats dontcha know!), some not so thrilled children crying, dogs acting like their brains had been removed and running circles around us, and my daughter and I...looking for all things like we were part of a goat rodeo. We were at a loss...why wasn't this working?! My daughter had to leave to go to work. My heart went out to her. She looked so discouraged and sad.

Through much wrangling, we were able to milk these poor girls enough to, at least, feed the little doeling and relieve them of some...uh...pressure. I was not looking forward to the next morning.

That evening, as I studiously researched "How to Milk a Goat,"  my husband was off leading a Bible study.  One of the ladies, who attends this study, has had dairy goats. In her sweet and forthright way she quickly informed my husband of all that we had done wrong...which was almost everything.

Those poor girls.

But, they are forgiving wee lassies. A fact for which we are extremely grateful.

In the wee hours of the morning, this morning, my husband arose from the cozy warmth of our bed, bundled himself and stepped out into the frosty morn. What a man. He went out to the barn and built my daughter a milking-stand. We were still without grain, however, the morning milking session was much less traumatic than the previous evening, and, this evening (after purchasing some grain) it went even better still!

We are bruised. We are sore. We are getting closer to getting the hang of things. And the goats still like us. Now if we could just keep their feet out of the milk bucket...but, hey, baby steps right?

Praise the Lord!

Oh...and just so you are not worried...no, we aren't drinking their milk yet.

It seems....

It seems as though every one of my friends now has a blog. I think that it is wonderful in so many ways. I get to keep up with what the Lord is doing in their lives and they can keep up with mine...well, they can as long as I write on our family blog...which, yes, I know, I am not good at doing on a regular basis. It is a mystery to me how so many people can be so regular with their blogs. I think that perhaps I am just not as organized as I think that I am and I KNOW that I can be horribly lazy especially right now as my body is adjusting to pregnancy, again. However, I think of how much time it takes to sit and write a post. My three youngest are under the supervision of who, as I sit down to write? I feel that, with daily chores, etc. they often are "on their own"-ish, which I despise. As they grow older, they are helping me more and more and certainly when Big Sissy Faith is home, she is a super huge help to me. I find though, that as their mother, I feel it is wrong to rely on her too heavily because she is not their mother but rather their sister and it is not her responsibility to raise her siblings.  Help with them, certainly, but not raise them. I am, by no means, criticizing my fellow bloggers. Everyone does things in their own way...I simply cannot simplify my life enough to be able to squish everything in, it seems. Which brings me to something else. I am noticing a huge trend in simplification! I think that it is wonderful! So many people are coming to realize that they do not need all of the stuff that they have been stuffing their homes and lives with! I am constantly battling with stuff. Toys, clothes, dishes...it is all stuff. I am constantly trying to simplify our lives INCLUDING our schedules! Now, if you happen to have one of those elusive creatures at home called a "teenager" you will understand why I add schedules to the "stuff" category. Not everyone would do so. My beautiful and amazing teenage daughter, Faith, is a people lover! She works at a cafe, which suits her personality. She attends a group study, studying midwifery. She soaks people up. She just loves people. Which means that she is always on the move. This is not a criticism...it is simply, who she is. It is how the good Lord designed her. He has some plan for her involving people and I cannot wait to see how her life unfolds. HOWEVER, it has been a HUGE adjustment for my dearest husband and yours truly! When the Lord brought her into our lives, a little over two years ago, we had NO idea the changes He had in store for us. We were floored. We struggled. Sometimes with her...sometimes with Him. Our social calendar exploded...and here we are, two years later, still recovering from the shock. It has been a blessing in many ways, though we have not always been willing to recognize them, being such reclusive homebodies, ourselves. It has forced us to be a bit more social and hospitable. Funny, the Lord commands us to be hospitable...now, He has forced us into it. Hmmm...no, that is unfair. He opened the door and said, "Step out of your comfortable little box and experience what I have for you." I think that the Lord also has had and continues to have lessons for our daughter. You see, as reclusive homebodies, we also help her to moderate her activities. If we did not, she would run herself into the ground with all the things that she wants to do and all the people that she wants to go and see. My husband is also helping her to moderate her spending. She would happily spend all her money on her friends and really "cute" shoes, if it were not for the guidance of her Papa. It is something that I am still learning myself, so, he is definitely the better teacher!! All in all, it has been a growing experience for us all. We are trying to help our daughter understand, however, that too busy a schedule can run you off your feet and actually keep you from true hospitality and fellowship, just as much as no schedule at all. She has helped us to learn to open up our schedule a bit...and we are teaching her, with the Lord's help to close hers just a smidge so, that she can truly enjoy the life that He has given her and that it does not flash by her in a series of meaningless events that never allowed her to really get to know, love, trust or grow...that never allowed her to actually meet and know the people that the Lord has placed in her path for either their benefit, or hers.

Well, those are my ramblings for the day...thank you for stopping by and reading them. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Obey

Seasons...

Everyone talks in terms of "seasons."  This season of your life, that season of your life...This is a busy season of your life...etc.  Aren't they all busy, though?  I mean, yes, we can break things up and say 'I was busy doing blah-blah during such and such a time..." however, I think that people actually feel that this will end.  They feel that the business will somehow end, mysteriously disapear.  Folks--it doesn't end until we die...or Jesus comes...and even then, we may still be busy, we just will not care because we will be joyfully serving the Lord (or at least, I pray that you will be.)  I think that we get this idea in our heads that someday, somehow we will be saved from "business" or is it busy-ness? My prayer is, not that I will be saved from busy-ness, but, that all that I am doing glorifies and is for one Person.  God.  I do not mind dropping in my tracks if it is for Him, however, if I am so busy just because I am serving my self, my pride, and seeking my own glory...I have a serious problem.  Woe and whoa--to those of us doing that.  I do realize that in our human sinfulness, we do not always seek the godly and eternal things, but our main focus should be the Lord, not ourselves.  His glory and not our own. Well...those are just the thoughts running through my brain today. Grace and Peace!

A few of my favorite things...

Grace and Peace. Aren't they beautiful words? I am so thankful for the Grace bestowed upon me by my Father.  I am also thankful for the peace that His grace brings to me.  I am duelly blessed.  That does not mean that I am always at peace...my last post shows that!  It does mean, however, that I can seek peace within my Savior and find it in the midst of trials and tribulations. 

I have some friends who, as I write, are facing trials that I cannot imagine.  First, their baby was born with a serious heart condition.  The condition is so serious, in fact, that he received open heart surgery only days after his birth.  He has faced various complications since his birth and daily fights for his life.  His mother and father held him, for the first time, on his two week birthday.  This baby is a fighter and he continues to amaze us all with his strength and determination to live.  God has given this little baby the spirit of a warrior! 

Now, for the next trial.  Their home burned.  While the children were visiting with Grandma and Mama and Papa were at the hospital with the baby, their home caught fire and burned.  What was not destroyed was damaged by water and smoke.  God showed His mercy, however.  No one was home to be harmed.  A precious memory book, containing memories of a child lost to them a few years ago, was spared.  Precious heirlooms survived the destruction.  All in all, the fire was...dare I say...blessed.  The local news station came and interviewed my friend and her husband.  Thousands of people now know of their plight and are now praying for them and reaching out to them in numerous ways.  Above all, this couple has shown the Peace and the Light of Christ through this whole ordeal.  Their actions and their words have glorified our Heavenly Father throughout it all.  They have given praise to Him, leaned on Him, and glorified Him.  They are finding their peace in Him.  I believe that they are storing up precious treasure in Heaven...I also believe that the Lord will bless them for their faithfulness.  I am so thankful to have a Father who loves, and loves to bless, His children.  I cannot wait to see what He does next in the life of this family.

Grace and Peace...what a wonderful gift.

Did you ever....?

Did you ever get the impression that you had hurt someone's feelings or disappointed them somehow...but you had NO idea how?

Thus I find myself sitting at the computer at 5:30 in the morning, unsettled in my heart, because I feel that somehow we have offended a family who we love dearly.  Things have not felt right, between our two families, for some time now and I do not know why.  However, I thought that perhaps things were on the mend.  They had closed themselves off for a long while; not telling anyone anything about what was going on in their family.  Their family was going through some rough times. In the past, my friend would have called and asked for prayer, but, I was clueless because she did not.  I must stop and admit guilt here, though.  Because I sensed tension I backed off.  I thought maybe my friend needed space.  I did not want to seem overly pushy and I hoped that she would come to me when she was ready and talk to me about what was so heavy a burden on her heart.  She never did.  Occasionally, I would ask her how I could pray for her.  I would ask her how she was doing.  I would receive a non commital answer and I would move away. Should I have pressed?  I didn't think so at the time, but, now I wonder if I did not choose the wrong course of action.  My daughter, in speaking with their daughter was informed that their family was being cautious regarding us.  Had we proven ourselves untrustworthy?  I was confused.  What did we do?  Why did they not tell us we had done it?  Why did they not come to us and admonish us if we had done something offensive?

Recently, however, it seemed that they, as a whole family, were opening up again.  I was so excited!  My friend wanted to share with me again!  She wanted to talk to me! 

**sigh** and now, I am not so sure...

We apparently have offended them again in some way.  I do not understand.  Is this some ploy by the enemy (yes, I mean satan) to divide our two families?  What is going on?  I am sick in my heart about this.  I am one of those people who naturally shy away from conflict.  I am not brave about confronting someone when I feel that there is tension.  This morning I feel compelled to strap on the big guns.  I am going to get down on bended knee and ask the Lord for some serious strength and courage.  I am going to ask Him for wisdom.  I am going to ask Him for love.  I am going to ask Him for words to crck the shell of angst between us. Then, I am going to go and talk to my friend.  I am going to ask straight out...what is happening here?

We love this family.  They have been with us through so many things.  I cannot fathom not having them in our lives.  They were there for us when we first became believers.  They answered questions and they patiently guided us through ups and downs.  I, for one, am not going to lie down and watch as the enemy destroys our relationship.  I am going to fight.

So, if you happen upon this blog today and you are a believer and the Lord compells you...would you please pray for me?  I am not very good at slaying dragons...praise the Lord, He has given me armor to protect me and help me defeat the enemy.  Please pray that I will win this battle.